Thursday, November 29, 2012

Let the weekly updates begin!

So I would have added a photo/non-bump pic too...buuuuuut I couldn't get my camera to work the auto timer! gugh! so frusterating!
Maybe I'll just wait till I have a baby bump and not a fat bump ;)

Now on with the questionnaire!

How far along? 5 weeks
How big is baby?  Appleseed or peppercorn
Total weight gain/loss: Who knows, my scale is still broken.
Maternity clothes: Not yet
Have you started to show yet? Not yet, but I’m chubby so It may take a while.
Sleep: Good, but I have to get up to pee at least once a night.
Best moment this week: Telling my grandpa and seeing his little Irish jig of happiness.

Miss Anything? I was sad I couldn’t have a grasshopper drink at Thanksgiving…I love those!
Movement: Nope, baby is still too small.
Food cravings: Root beer and apple juice…but not at the same time ;)
Anything making you queasy or sick?  Nothing yet, but I do get a tiny bit queasy after eating anything.
Gender prediction: girl
Labor Signs: Nope

Symptoms: So Tired! and a bit foggy brained.
Major purchases this week? Nothing yet for me or baby…but we did Christmas shop for the niece and nephew!
Weekly wisdom: Organic ginger candy…and peppermint tea. I follow every meal with one of them and it has saved me.
Looking forward to: the 10th is our first ultrasound, I think I’ll feel so much more safe as soon as we see a heartbeat.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Best Idea Ever

So I know two posts in one day...but I had to tell you about my grandpa.

I went over to check on my gram, which she is doing fan-fricken-tastic, and see if they needed anything before I went into work/class.

You see it has been killing me not telling my grandpa that I'm finally pregnant. The man is my world. We are each others biggest fans.  Sooooooo while I was over there today my gram got a phone call and I decided I couldn't hold it in anymore...
I pulled my grandpa in the kitchen and asked him if he could keep a secret, then told him I was pregnant.
I'll be damned if my little 81yr old grandpa didn't do the cutest little Irish man jig of joy.
I'm not kidding you guys, it made my year to see him so happy. He got all teary eyed and hugged me so tight.
Best Idea Ever telling him!
(we are NOT telling my gram until we tell the rest of the world...because last IVF she called everyone she knows and told them I was pregnant...and I wasn't. The women can't keep anything a secret...or get anything right.)

still tired

Yesterday was a whirlwind of a day. I'm still tired form it.
My grandmother had her defibrillator replaced, and at 80 a simple routine surgery somehow gets you more scared than it should. Thankfully it all went perfect. She is home now and I'm heading out to see her in a few....which really means that I'm off to take care of her and my grandfather.
She was scheduled for a 11:30 procedure but it somehow didn't happen until 2:30! yep 3hrs late.  My mom, uncle and I left as soon as the Dr talked to us...I was so tired and didn't want to drive the 40min home in the very dark.

On the baby front, my first Ultrasound is scheduled for the 10th! AJ took the day off and our appointment is bright and early at 8am.  That day is going to be one hell of a day for me :ultrasound witch WILL result in me balling like a baby, and I have two final projects due. Thankfully I don't have any finals this year, just projects. But let me tell you they are not easy projects! (thanks advanced classes). Thankfully I'll get pizza and popcorn in class that night, we watch our final video projects and the teacher (super awesome dude) always brings in pizza for the class. I think I'll make the popcorn almond bark stuff and bring it in too.

The nurse sent me my new calendar...witch is the same with the ultrasound added, and gave me my due date! 8-1-13, that puts me at 5 weeks tomorrow!
So we could have a July or August baby...I think it would just be the coolest to have the kid on 7-31 because that's the day AJ and I met each other. We count it as the day we got together, because we basically didn't spend a day apart until March....we were kinda smitten ;)

Monday, November 26, 2012


No more blood tests!
My regular nurse is going to call me tomorrow to schedule my first pregnant appointment.

It feels more real now, although I don't think it will completely sink in as real until I see a baby in my belly on a screen.
I think it's the fact that as an infertile woman I have failed at doing what I feel God has put me on this planet to do...for three years. And now that it is finally happening it's hard to believe it at all. That I'm finally getting the chance to be the mother I have always wanted to be.

Betabase shows that I'm more in the single baby category, which I'm totally cool with! and at a low possibility for twins...which makes me sad( I kinda reallllly wanted two)   But lets be real here...I'LL TAKE WHAT I CAN GET!

I think I'm going to start the bump photos on Wednesday...I'm trying to think of a creative way to do them. As a graphic designer I want to use my talents...but I'll probably end up doing something easy!

I'm now off to finish running a million errands then work and class.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Progesterone issues, tired and worried

So I ran out of PiO (progesterone in oil), no biggie. I called the pharmacy to have it refilled and sent next day...
Weeeelllll the delivery service didn't want to drive the 3hrs on the weekend to get it to me so they were going to use FedEx...which would charge me something around $45!
In a panic I called the nurse on call, and felt so bad I had to do so on Black Friday...she was out shopping. Man I felt bad.
But she's amazing and tracked down a Walgreens in town that had in on hand! She called it in and you would think that's all there was to would be wrong.
The other pharmacy didn't cancel my order so Walgreens couldn't get my insurance to cover their order...
I didn't get the message until after 5pm so my usual pharmacy couldn't be contacted to cancel the order...
So my butt had to get up early on a SATURDAY to call the pharmacy, cancel the order and then call Walgreens and make sure they processed the order.
And all for just 10days of medicine!
This PiO is in sesame seed oil and man is it thick! It also itches like crazy!

I have been soooooo tired this weekend, like I'm dragging through the mud when I try to walk. Which I guess is a good sign, but it's really the only sign other than the fact I could eat a horse. I never seem to get full.
My boobs are still normal and everything else is still normal too...I'm just tired and hungry.

I'm just kinda worried about tomorrow's BETA.
With my second being only 14.8.  I'm just so worried that it is way too low, that this is chemical.
I haven't peed on any other sticks, and I'm kinda afraid to.

I've been kinda numb about the whole thing...and I think I will be until I hear larger numbers.

I have about a million things to do tomorrow so I'm going early to get my BETA.
Also my grandma is having her defibrillator replaced on Tuesday.  That means I get to drive and sit in waiting rooms and eat hospital food for the day....yippie!

On another non-related note, AJ got me an iPhone!!! Finally! I'm not the last person on the planet to get an iPhone....or phone with internet, my sad little old phone was such a pain in the hiney! It would just forget to give me messages and calls...all the time. I finally feel up with the times, I even got hipster. (I refuse to get twitter, that will never happen...I'm not that hipster)

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Holy $#!%

it worked

I'm pregnant



ok now that that has passed... ;)

My first BETA failed at 2.9, but it was early, taken on day 11. (they sent me early due to the holiday)
My second BETA (today) is 14.8, low but pregnant!
I go again on Monday for another BETA.

Today I'm thankful that (besides being pregnant) AJ was home when we got the call.
I'm off to make the dog's shirt now, I'm too pumped to see my parent's reactions tomorrow!

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

the hole in my elbow

I went for my first BETA yesterday...It's killing me not knowing until tomorrow.
But anyways...
I got she-Hulk.
This is the same chick that took one of my E2's last IVF and left me with a HUGE bruise that covered my entire inner elbow(is that what it's called...for some reason that sounds so strange...shouldn't it have it's own name? does it and I'm just being a dumb dumb?).

Well yesterday I actually spoke up about how rough she was. I told her she could be a bit more gentle.
I also made sure to look at the name on her name tag and when I go back tomorrow I'm totally going to be that person that says "Not Beth".
I just hope the cute little knitting grandma that was in line after me didn't get her...I'm sure that if she did that woman will have bled out and now has an actual hole in her arm.

I went shopping today...I know I'm crazy. It was a mad house. Thankfully I didn't need much.
But I did manage to not pick up any pee sticks. I don't know how. I was even at the dollar store! I think it's the first time I have ever been to the dollar store and not picked up a few of them...I mean they are a buck and let's face it...if us IF-es are good at one thing it's peeing on things!

I have one test under my sink, I've had it for about 2years now. It's one of the ept's that say pregnant or not pregnant. I'm keeping it for when I know I'm pregnant, like if tomorrow's BETA comes back positive I'll pee on that thing faster than my dog pees on the light post in front of our house...and man does she love to pee on that thing.
I just don't think I can handle something digital telling me I'm not pregnant. So I'll save it. Let's just hope I get to pee on it tomorrow.

Last round I got the call around 1pm and I had gone for the test around 8am...tomorrow I plan on being there at 6 when they open the lab.
I'm going to be home alone (well the dog will be here) all day, and thankfully I don't have to work tomorrow. Finding out at work last time was killer, especially since it was bad news.  This time I'm glad I get to cry alone...
good or bad.
And if it's good AJ will be the first to know. Which is the way it should be. I'm totally making the dog a shirt that says "only child - expires:August 2013"! So when he comes home form work she can run up to him in it. And then Thanksgiving morning when my parents and brother get here I'll put her back in it!
God I hope this works, I really want to make that shirt.

Either way I'll let you guys know tomorrow.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

The fear and doubt is setting in

I blame the lack of symptoms

I feel so normal
Nothing is different

Boobs are not sore and haven't grown at all...last time they got bigger and hurt so bad.
I'm mildly last time.
I'm not tired at fact I cleaned the ENTIRE kitchen. and I'm not a bit tired.
I've had the nite sweats, but they are not as bad as last time.
I've had a mild headache, but I suspect allergies.
I have no cravings, last time I ate an entire jar of peanut butter.

All in all I'm scared to DEATH that this didn't work again.
I'm afraid I'll break down, like worse than upset. I'm afraid I won't know how to move on.
And it'll be the day before Thanksgiving, how am I going to hold it together in front of a big family group...where they allllllways ask why I'm not drinking.

it doesn't help that I peed on a stick this morning and it was negative.

BETA#1 tomorrow
(I don't get results till BETA#2 on Wednesday)

Lord give me strength.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

the one where I turn into a big cry baby

So my shot last night...
AJ had to go get me a tissue because the tears wouldn't stop.

You see I have this knot in my butt muscle on the right side. Hurts like hell. Two nights ago (when it was right-ey's turn again) I had AJ shoot my progesterone just under the big deal. Didn't hurt that bad.
So last night when it was back to the right side we tried for about 5 min to figure out how he was going to "pinch" the muscle to give the shot.  There was no way around it, the knot is covering the entire section of my bum that the shot is given in! It grew and formed a bruise!
AJ tried his best...he really did.
But OH MY GOD it hurt. I was shaking it hurt so bad. Tears all over my counter top.
I even tried the "stance" that Emily over at a blanket 2 keep suggested, and it totally works...just not on knotted up muscles :(

If only I could use a heating pad or heat of any kind...but no.
I'm on strict orders to stay far away from the amazing inventions that are heating pads.
My friend did suggest this stuff called Arnica Gel, it's all natural and it's for muscle pain and bruising. She uses it all the time, she has a bleeding disorder and is constantly getting transfusions that form fantastic if it works for her I'm gonna give it a try. 

Oh another progesterone note, the bananas are totally working!
It seems that 2 a day keeps the leg crams away!!!
I haven't had one twinge or sign of a spasm.  And my boobs are not as sore as last time either, so maybe potassium is the key people! and get some!
And anyways, banana and peanut butter shakes are ah-may-zing!

I'm dealing with a sick man again today, AJ decided to stay home from work today. I'm kinda thankful for that, I don't know how he would have made it.  He's been hacking bad and sadly it's not very's one of those colds where everything is stuck in his chest and the cough isn't the kind (yet) to break it all up. Poor guy, I feel so bad. BUT I'm avoiding him like the plague, because I'll be damned if I'm gonna get it when I can't take any meds. Plus I want to keep the embabies as healthy in there as possible!
I was totally going to clean the bedroom today too...guess I can't do that!

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

2dp3dt...tmi warning!

I'm at day2 past the 3day transfer! I'm feeling flipping fantastic!
I have energy and I even Rena a ton of places this morning and I'm now baking some cookies!
After the transfer for IVF#1 I was super tired. I figured it was the progesterone, but now I wonder.

I added the fabulous progesterone suppositories last night!!! And wow buddie I now remember why I hated those f-ers!
Hot flashes that have me waking up in a puddle of wet sheets.
Sore boobs.
Heartburn that would put any dragon to shame.
Thirst...I'm so so soooo thirsty!
Vivid and sometimes terrifying dreams.
What I will refer to as sludge bum...
Bad charley-horse calf spasms! (Why I have been eating 2 bananas a day)
And best of all!!! goopy vag!

Is nothing worse than slime imitating form your nether regions?!?!?
I think not.

To top all this of AJ is getting a cold...
And you know what that means?
He snores like a chainsaw....and he grew a vagina.
Oh how men turn into whiny little girls the min they get any ailment!
I even decided to be super wifey and stop to pick him up his favorite cheesecake last night, it was a hit of course, but sadly didn't cure the whine!
He has already bitched about being sick like 3 times on the Facebook...
I just think it's funny that I can have needles poked through my ute and into my ovaries and he asks on the way home if I want to go to the mall and maybe Sam's Club...what?!?!
No I want to go lay on the couch and be a bum!
Men...I tell ya!
It's a good thing we love them!

Sunday, November 11, 2012


We transferred 3 today!
I know what you are thinking...3!?!?!

Let me explain
Two were nine cells and one was a 4 cell.
One of the nine cells was perfect, one was fragmented and the 4 cell got tossed in for good measure.

When the embryologist said 3 I about peed myself...because you know I had just chugged a ton of water...but then she explained that the chance for triplets was low, somewhere around 10% so we figured if its what they recommend then we will go with it.

I've been on the couch since about noon today, but my stupid iPad didn't want me to post to blogger...and I wasn't about to crawl up stairs. So I'm sorry it took me forever to post this update.

My Betas are set up for a week from Monday and Wednesday, and again they won't tell me a result until Wednesday...which makes me kinda insane!

I do have to work tomorrow, but thankfully not until 3...but the class that lasts until 9pm might just do me in.

Friday, November 9, 2012

As of now-Transfer on Sunday

So out of the 12 they got 8 were mature and 6 of those took to the fertilization!
They set us up for Sunday morning at 10, which means I pee at 9 and we hit the road while I chug a liter of water.  There is a chance they will call while we are driving and move us to Tuesday (day 5).

I just have this fear that they will move us back again to a day 6 and we will be in the same boat of AJ not being able to go due to the Wednesday hell that is his work.
But for now I'm just going to try to be positive and pray that things all go the way they should...

Thursday, November 8, 2012


Retrieval went good, they got 12 out of me!

I'm feeling a bit out of it from the anesthesia so I'm going to go lay on the couch and watch some Netflix.
I'll post more, probably tomorrow, after they call and tell me the stats of my dozen!

Also I wanted to thank you guys for the prayers and wishes! You guys are the best!

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Retrieval Tomorrow!

I have been trying to post from my iPad all day today...but for some reason it won't work. And to top that off my keyboard batteries died so I couldn't use my computer until they charged...needless to say it's been a long day. (and I'm not even telling you about my advanced web page class homework, ugh...that shit can kiss my bum!)

I had the pleasure of getting a midnight needle as a snack!
Trigger at midnight last night (12am today's kinda confusing)
Transfer at 10:30 tomorrow morning! We have to be there at 9:45, which means leaving the house at 8:20ish. At least this time AJ won't be hungry and want pizza...and eat it in front of me...when I can't eat and am starving.
I can handle the not eating, but I'm a must have OJ first thing in the morning person. It's like my life force. I'm not kidding.

My arm is killing me form last night's shot, last time it didn't hurt at all. This time I feel like the Incredible Hulk punched me in the arm. Thankfully I did it in my left so I can kinda baby it. No one told the dog though...she's jumped on it a few times. She does it again I may kill her.

I'm excited to see how many good eggies we get and what size they are...the ultrasound tech didn't tell me sizes on Tuesday, just that they had grown some since Monday.

IVF#2 Here we go!

Monday, November 5, 2012

The Weekend, a Birthday, and a Monday

So the weekend was kinda sucky, all thanks to me feeling like a stuffed pig...but more on the eggies in a bit.
Friday night we had a movie night. I picked up take-n-bake pizza and we cuddled in bed to watch The Avengers...AJ fell asleep within 15min. I expected nothing less. At least I got to see the movie.
Saturday we did a little shopping, had hot dogs for lunch, and went to a friends house for a party...
The party made me want to punch multiple the face...with a chair.
It was a "martini madness" party which means I get to drink water and watch all the bitchy chicks get waisted and act like they are still 21 and not 30!  And it lived up to its hype.
At one point the hostess drunkenly told me that if pregnancy wasn't soooo hard on her she would gladly have another kid and give it to me...!
This is the same chick that complained to me about trying to get pregnant for a whole 3 months for their second kid...we had been trying for about 15 months at that point...and I was sitting next to a gal who had a daughter with bladder ex trophy (born with her bladder exposed). I swear some people are just dumb.
Needless to say we left the party early.
I felt pretty miserable on Saturday, warn down and I was starting to feel my do I put this...giggle? So it was nice to get home and put my yoga pants back on.
Sunday was nice and relaxing.
I made myself a coffee and some pancakes. AJ did the dishes and vacuumed the house. I decided that I would do some birthday shopping and ended up getting myself two new pairs of corduroy pants at a second had shop for less than 20 bucks! Woot woot! I also scored a new yellow sweater that I'm totally in love all in all win win!
We were planning on going out to dinner with my parents and brother, but it ended up being a party of 11! My aunt, uncle, cousin and his room mate came and so did my grandparents. It was fantastic, I love being with my family...I would choose family dinner over a friends dinner any day.

So that brings us to today
My ultrasound showed a 20 on my left and a few 14/15's and a 21 on the right and a few 13/14's.
I left with instructions to continue shots as usual tonight and come back for another E2 and ultrasound tomorrow morning!
Sadly my RE's wife is bad sick and he will be out of the office tomorrow, which means I have to go to a radiology place to get my ultrasound, but I still have to go to the office for my E2.  I have to be there at 8:30, which means leaving the house at 7:30...gee I hope they don't mind me in my jimjams and ponytail!
I'm expecting the same as last time, trigger Wednesday (early am) and retrieval on Thursday.  Which will actually work perfectly for my work schedule and AJ's.

I'm so ready for this, I think I'm finally letting myself see the hope in this round.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Good Morning November!

I'm kinda excited for November to be here...
and it even started off with a bang!

At just around 1am my cousin gave our family another girl!
Scarlet popped into the world (at home, in a pool) at just above 5lbs.

But back to me!!!
Sorry, for some reason I'm in a super duper good mood this morning...I really have no clue where it came form.
Today I feel like my insides belong in a much bigger person, I'm finding it hard to sit too far up and forget leaning over...slip on shoes? don't mind if I do!
My yoga pants are still my best friends and I have treated myself to either a cocoa or hot cider every night...with whip cream.

Last night was the first for Menopur, and HOLY CRAP...totally forgot how that stuff stings! I spent about 5min breathing in through my nose and out my mouth, because I thought I was gonna puke.
I did find a trick to the Menopur though...
Last time around I followed the directions to a T. Mixing the solution and then drawing up 1/2 to take my shot. Well for some reason the next night was never the correct amount. I swear I measured right, and when it was time to do it again I even made AJ watch to make sure I measured correct. And low and behold it was off for the second shot again.
this time I decided that I'm just going to mix, draw it all into the syringe and just inject 1/2 and put in the fridge for the next night...I'll change the needle and inject the rest.
Totally works! and I'm not taking less than needed.  AJ insured me that I was still getting the amount of meds I needed to since it was all diluted, but I can't help but feel like I failed since I couldn't take it right.

My bruise is looking perdy fugly too.  Last time it was bigger, but this time it's all red instead of purple so it looks so much worse. But I think I'll just "medicate" with more warm drinks topped with whip cream!  I think Starbucks might supply today's! Because it's true, Every once in a while you just need the cup with the green straw!