Wednesday, November 12, 2014

hello again

I really thought I'd be back here on different terms...but I'm not.
At this moment in time it looks as though our little dude will be an only child...unless the grace of God decides to knock me up on it's own.
I was sort of slapped with this info at dinner tonight.
As if he was telling me that he had pie for lunch, the hubs says "work stopped covering infertility insurance, they said they only get maybe 7 people a year using it so they decided to stop."
and I about burst into tears, because I know my husband...there is no way he will pay for any treatments out of pocket.
I just looked at him and calmly said "well I guess he'll be an only child." and I didn't say much the rest of the night...

Now I know that I have no right to complain, I have a beautiful and healthy little guy. I just feel like I'm being robbed of the one thing I'm meant to do, have babies! I want my son to have a brother or sister, I want him to know that bond because I cherish it so much myself. and if I'm aloud to be selfish, I wanted to be pregnant so very bad.

In 4 months I planned on coming back here to begin again. To start the struggle all over again with pills and shots and blood work and hope. Instead I'm here now crying over the loss of the chance to struggle again.

Saturday, February 2, 2013

moving on up

Hi chicks!
I have moved on over.

I'd love to see everyone over there too.
I'm planning on following everyone with that blog too, and I don't plan to post here again...
but I will leave this blog here just in case anyone wonders by and needs or wants the info on here.

Thursday, January 31, 2013

And we've gone public!

So tomorrow my grandma turna 81...or 34 as she would say ;). So this morning my mom came over and after we got ready (she drops my dad off early at work and on Thursdays we take our time getting ready and then go have brunch) we headed over to the flower shop and explained to the gal that we wanted to get my Gram flowers for her b-day but also announce that I'm pregnant. She suggested a small thing of a few baby pink and blue carnations, which we thought was fantastic. I picked out a card that was for baby flowers and wrote a little note. We then headed straight over to my grandparents. I walked in and handed my Gram the flowers and plucked the card out to have my Grandpa read...since Gram can't see well enough to read.
It was so cute, he could barely read it out loud (and he already knew! but she didn't know he knew) and it took a second for her to get it...she goes "oh...Oh! Are you pregnant!?!" And she's crying, which she doesn't do, and I'm crying and mom's crying and Grandpa's crying and we are all hugging.
After the hug&cry fest I updated Facebook, and I haven't been able to put my phone down yet! The comments just keep coming.
Telling my Gram was awesome, but my cousin called my grandparents house (from Arizona) and I picked up...she goes "gram...aunt???..." And isaid no it's Katy. And then she yells in the most excited voice "just saw your Facebook"!  It was too cute.
I have to say today was fantastic, I was not expecting such a reaction from my Gram. It was more than I could have asked for.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

a reallllllly late 13week update...sorry

Oh you guys this week has gotten the best of me! I keep thinking "oh I'll do the bump shot tomorrow"...ya that never happened. And now it's 13weeks 5days and let's face it's too late now...and all I have is chub anyways. It's ok really I think when I put these into book form for the peanut I think I'm going to do every other week until I have a real bump anyways ;)

so here's my questionnaire, and I promise I'll be better from now on.
How far along? 
 13 weeks 5 day
How big is baby?  
A peach...which is just adorable
Total weight gain/loss: 
again I have no clue...but I don't feel like I have gained any.
Maternity clothes: 
pants...I tried jeans with the beband and my hips weren't havin it!
Have you started to show yet? 
just chub, but I can no longer suck in the chub.
the last few nights have been great, not even a potty break! it's been fantastic.

Best moment this week:  
buying baby it's first stuffy(stuffed animal) and eating all the food that Chicago had to offer!

Miss Anything? 
my energy, I really want that back! there is so much to do (home and school) and I have no energy to do any of it.  
none yet

Food cravings: 
dried fruit, which is awesome since it's healthy and I have a dehydrator!

Anything making you queasy or sick?  
 Meat is still on my yuck list...but baby did demand Taco Bell was quite yummy, but it made my tummy hurt later in the day.

Labor Signs: 
super dry skin and lips that are cracking and peeling bad, still getting doozie headaches and I'm tired. NO NAUSEA this week!!!
Major purchases this week? 
 nothing this week, but Amanda at Our Grisworld just posted about the swing we want and it's on sale! may have to order it tonight! we also got peanut a cute Roo stuffed animal from the Disney store.
Weekly wisdom: 
jam pack your purse with snacks, this has saved me during class when I really needed a granola bar or fruit.

Looking forward to: 
Telling the world, on Thursday, we are having a baby! I plan to put it on facebook and then running to my grandparents house to tell my grandma before anyone can call her.
also looking forward to the energy that people say comes with the second trimester...

I also plan on moving over to my regular blog once I'm "out", it has been empty for a while (since I've been over here and anonymous) and no one knows I have had this blog, but I would love it if you guys came over there with me.  I'll post a link as soon as I make the switch.

Friday, January 18, 2013

12 week bumpdate

How far along? 
 12 weeks 1 day
How big is baby?  
A plum, about 2.1 inches long and .49 ounces!
Total weight gain/loss: 
 I don't think there was any change this week, I haven't weighed myself.
Maternity clothes: 
I've been in yoga pants all week, but I did put on jeans for classes and you bet they were maternity!
Have you started to show yet? 
still no, but I have noticed that the more I bend over the more things get shoved up, so I'm betting it won't be long till I am showing. 
sleep has gotten worse, I have been up many times a night to pee and I can not get comfortable so I toss and turn all night. 

Best moment this week:  
seeing my friends at school

Miss Anything? 
caffeine...classes are so much harder with out it! 

Food cravings: 
 I just HAD to have biscuits and gravy the other night.

Anything making you queasy or sick?  
 Meat. Don't even talk about it let alone show me any...I think this baby is making me into a vegetarian. Fine with me.

Labor Signs: 
Still get nausea when I wake up, HEARTBURN, headaches, sore back and dry skin.
Major purchases this week? 
 I got THE cutest skirt from Old Navy! I'm super excited about it and it fits perfect (which is shocking for a shorty like me). I also got AJ his Valentines day present! Pop Corn maker!
Weekly wisdom: 
just get the wheeled bag for classes, who cares if you look dumb.

Looking forward to: 
AJ and I are heading to Chicago in the morning for a little get away just the two of us! Disney store and deep dish here I come!

Friday, January 11, 2013

11 week bumpdate

yes I am in the same color shirt as the chalk...totally unplanned.
do you like the pony tail and no makeup...I was totally too lazy to fix that.

How far along? 11 weeks 1 day
How big is baby?  A lime
Total weight gain/loss: The office scale still said 200.
Maternity clothes: Pants...I attempted to wear my regular pants with the belly band today...super tight in the hips.
Have you started to show yet? still no, but I'm fat...
Sleep: still not so good, I have a hard time falling asleep, and then back asleep after my midnight bathroom run.
Best moment this week: my surprise visit from friends last night and seeing peanut today!
Miss Anything? energy, I seem to crash quickly.
Movement: nothing that I can feel, but there sure was a ton of wiggle during the sonogram today.
Food cravings: somehow today I can't get enough to eat! I hope it sticks around. I have been wanting pears in the evening so I picked some up yesterday.
Anything making you queasy or sick? I still don't want anything to do with meat.
Labor Signs: Nope
Symptoms: Nausea when I wake up and in the late evening, HEARTBURN, headaches and dry skin.
Major purchases this week? I'm getting ready to order some shirts so I have something to wear to class and work.
Weekly wisdom:when your food aversion goes away, the store is probably not a good will spend way too much money.
Looking forward to:Going back to class and work, I know I'm odd. And getting all the tests done (Tuesday because the lab guy was out today) so we can finally tell the world that I'm pregnant!

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Good friends

So yesterday AJ calls me mid day, which is odd, and tells me I need to be home after 3:30 on Thursday (today). When I asked why he simply said that his dad was going to come over and put up the flag pole that he gave us for Christmas. Ok no biggie.
Yet when the door bell rang it wasn't my father-in-law.
It was three of my friends from school! hiding behind my door...with gifts!!!

They emailed AJ and worked it all out so they could come over and cheer me up, since I haven't been feeling well and we haven't been able to get together as a 4 over the holidays.

The bags were full of gifts for me and for peanut! Our first baby gifts!
For me was a super cute and comfy set of pajamas and fuzzy purple slippers and a big box of Cheerios...since it's all I can seem to eat these days.
And for peanut was the cutest gray stuffed owl, a book, a onside with a font shaped like monsters saying feed me and also a cute box with hearts on it and Johnson's and Johnson's bedtime bath and lotion in it....but my friend informed me that the bedtime bath and lotion was actually for me! And let me tell you, best bubble bath ever. It smells so good and leaves you so soft!

They hung out of a bit and we chatted, which actually resulted in us getting louder and louder....which is what always happens.

It was so nice and such a surprise. I've never been so greatful for good girl friends.