Sunday, November 18, 2012

The fear and doubt is setting in

I blame the lack of symptoms

I feel so normal
Nothing is different

Boobs are not sore and haven't grown at all...last time they got bigger and hurt so bad.
I'm mildly crampy...like last time.
I'm not tired at all...in fact I cleaned the ENTIRE kitchen. and I'm not a bit tired.
I've had the nite sweats, but they are not as bad as last time.
I've had a mild headache, but I suspect allergies.
I have no cravings, last time I ate an entire jar of peanut butter.

All in all I'm scared to DEATH that this didn't work again.
I'm afraid I'll break down, like worse than upset. I'm afraid I won't know how to move on.
And it'll be the day before Thanksgiving, how am I going to hold it together in front of a big family group...where they allllllways ask why I'm not drinking.

AND
it doesn't help that I peed on a stick this morning and it was negative.

BETA#1 tomorrow
(I don't get results till BETA#2 on Wednesday)

Lord give me strength.

2 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry you are stuck in this stressful limbo right now. It's so awful that you have to wait until Wednesday, that's just torture. I'm hoping and praying that you get good news.

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  2. I hate this!! The waiting is the worst. I am thinking of you hun. Praying for a great BETA report on Wednesday!!!

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