Ultrasound Today!

How can someone be so freekin excited and so scared for the same thing?

As an IF-er we are so use to our body failing at what is meant to do, that when it finally does it...you doubt and fear it.

I'm so excited to finally see a baby...or possibly babies...in there, and yet at the same time I'm so scared that the dildo cam will show no heartbeat, or a very week heart beat. That this all will be taken away from me. That I will have failed yet again at the one thing I want to do most.

This is another time that I'm wishing for normalcy...to be a normal girl who worries about normal things and not one who has to deal with all these shots and fears and defeat.

I'll try to post from my iPhone on the way home, if it doesn't work you may not hear from me till later tonight. (thank God today is the last day of the semester...I don't think I can take much more!)