Fighting to make myself eat

For the last few days I have wanted nothing to do with food.
Which is a problem...for more reasons than the obvious.
The most obvious is that peanut needs me to eat, but I have to take my meds with food. The Metformin and the Dexamethazone both are to be taken with food, and lets face it prenatals do not give pleasant results on an empty stomach.
So I've been forcing down a bowl of cereal ( a small one ) before I take my pills and making myself eat little bits here and there throughout the day...but I know it is FAR from what I should be eating.

I did however dodge the stomach bug! My niece, nephew, brother-in-law and father-in-law did not. My poor little niece was up in the middle of the night pukeing and my nephew decided that while we were over for dinner was a great time to up chuck twice...my brother-in-law and father-in-law got hit with it yesterday. Sis, bro and the kids had to drive back home (8hrs) with the boys sick...somehow they made it with out anyone getting sick!
I also missed the sinus infection I though I was getting!
I thank Vicks and a hot compress to the face for my sinus cavities draining before infection set in! It's all in my chest and I'm caughing, but it's not bad. I still feel rather crapy, which isn't helping in the I need to eat department.

I suspect that I've lost a few pounds over the last week...I put on my favorite jeans (the ones that for the last few weeks have only fit with the aid of a very stretchy rubber band) and I about lost them while grocery shopping today! I'm sure I looked rather classy tugging at my jeans while in a old hoodie and a messy pony!

I saw on Pinterest some sort of slushie made with bananas, strawberries and a 7up, so I thought I'd give it a try. I didn't have any strawberries so I used raspberries and the three bananas that were on their last day. All I have to say is I haven't wanted to puke it back up yet! and it's actually pretty good.

Hubs and I are planning a nice quiet evening in tomorrow, I think maybe pizza, movie and popcorn.
Hope your New Years is nice, safe and with loved ones!

9weeks1day

  I don't have much to say today, I'm feeling rather poopy thanks to this sinus crap that is trying it's hardest to turn into a sinus infection.

The Dr. told me I could ween off the steroid yesterday! and that I can stop the progesterone shots and suppositories as soon as I hit week 10...which ironically I have just the perfect amount of suppositories to make it till then. Weird.

 

No picture this week. Sorry. I'm totally not getting in front of a camera feeling like this...nothing looks different from last week anyways. 

 

How far along? 9 weeks 1 day

How big is baby?  A Green Olive..yum!

Total weight gain/loss: My grandparents scale states 202, which is 2lbs above IVF weight, but I'm thinking that most of that is Christmas food since I have been eating so much less due to morning sickness and this sinus cold.

Maternity clothes: I can still wear my shirts but my jeans are strictly on a rubber band only status...I ordered new maternity jeans last night. (I'm not showing yet, I'm just so bloated I can't fit in anything but yoga pants)

Have you started to show yet? No but I'm so bloated.

Sleep: good, I can make it till about 5am without peeing now! and I'm sleeping sound with only a few strange dreams.
Best moment this week: telling the in-laws on Christmas morning, and finding out my Sister in-law is due 2weeks before me!

Miss Anything? Coffee…still missing coffee but once I hit the 3 month mark I'm sooooo having a cup a day! And lunch meat/meat and cheese trays were hard to avoid this Christmas.

Movement: Nope, baby is still too small, but there was some wiggling yesterday in the sonogram!
Food cravings: bland food like toast and Cheerios...but I'm getting sick (sinus crap) so nothing tastes good at the moment either.

Anything making you queasy or sick?  ummm so my nephew took a bite of food at the end of dinner Wednesday night and gagged and puked it all back up...the sister in-law and I were sitting at the other end of the table...we both gagged and she had to run for some hard candy.

Gender prediction: I'm still on girl. Hubs is still on boy.
Labor Signs: Nope, but I have been getting the round ligament pains...which are a pain.

Symptoms: Morning sickness comes and goes and hits either in the early morning or late evening and is just nausea, my boobs are sore all the time now, headaches and ligament pains.

Major purchases this week? about $60 worth of cloths from Old Navy! Thank you gift cards! And I'm heading out to check the second hand stores now.

Weekly wisdom: take it easy on the Christmas cookies...

Looking forward to:my niece's birthday party on Saturday and getting rid of this sinus cold before it turns into a sinus infection! 

Bittersweet day

Today was my fair well appointment with the RE office. My mom went with me since AJ couldn't go...he did however ask that I record the sono...I think he was sad he couldn't go.
I'm so happy that everything is good and I get move on to the OBGYN, but man am I going to miss that office.
I made them a tray of snacks and got a thank you card. It was perfect, it said "I'm so greatful, for people like you" and it's so true.
The tech (the one who is always in durring my appointments) got choked up before the ultrasound even started...before I even took my pants off! And Dr. H gave me the biggest hug and of course I got all weepy...he did a bit too.

Mom and I then decided to check out some sales, since we don't have a Berlington in town we went there and then had lunch.
I had waffles...because I'm pregnant and I can.
Then we headed home and to Old Navy so I could spend my gift certificates and get some maternity jeans...I'm so bloated that none of my jeans fit anymore!
They didn't have any in my size so I ended up getting 3 new shirts, 2 maternity and one regular...but it's super cute and stretchy and only $5 so win win!

S my mom called me a few min ago and asked me to email her the video so my dad could see it, I had to send it in two parts but she emailed it it my brother and my aunt and uncle too.
My brother just texted me and said he's in love with our little peanut...and my Dr's voice. (If I get the video uploaded on here you will totally get it...his voice is awesome!)

But the best is that my mom texted and said that my uncle got teary eyed while they were watching the video. And now I'm crying again!
(A little back info- my mom was a single parent until she met my step-dad when I was 8. My aunt (her sister) and uncle are like second parents to me, I'm very very close to them. So it's like they are getting a new grandchild too.)

I also finally got chalkboard paint and chalk! It should all be ready for week 10. I'm skipping the week 9 photo...8 was so depressingly crappy, and I'm getting sick ...so no photo this week.

Twice as nice Christmas

We began our morning with my family and a yumtastic breakfast followed by presents!
We then headed over to AJ's parents to open gifts with his sister and the kids (her hubs and the in-laws too).
We planned to give them the baby announcement gift at the end of all the gifts...
But his sister gave his parents a bag of a bunch of gifts and one was a pack of pictures...which included sonogram pics of baby number 3! She informed us she was due mid July and that she was 10.5 weeks...
The whole time I'm sitting there trying to not jump up yelling "me too me too!"
Instead I just grabbed the wrapped frame (one that says cousins on the top and I put a little paper in the frame stating that the photo was to be taken in August when their cousin gets here) handed it to his sister and I just said "we have one more for Ethan and Ava but it's glass so you have to open it"

She just kept yelling "are you serious, no way!"
Then the two if us hugged and cried like two pregnant chicks should.
His parents got so excited, then they realized that next Christmas there will be 4 grand kids instead of 2! I think they were even more excited after that.

So all in all it went way better than I could have imagined.

Well I survived

The family cleared out about an hour and a half ago...and I'm sooo glad it's over! The poor dog is traumatized. I'm sure I would be all fetal and crying if it weren't for my mother...the woman cleaned my entire kitchen. I'm pretty sure if everyone left and my kitchen still needed cleaning I would have just stood there and cried.
I missed my afternoon nap today, because I was making food for the party, and I'm surprised I'm not passed out at the moment!

So I have to tell you what my cousin did...because I really want to be all bitchy and put it on the Facebook...but I don't want to be the drama starter. So she brings her 4 kids and doesn't bring any toys or anything for them to play with...to a persons house that doesn't have kids...so we don't have kids toys...it's not rocket science. All the sudden the kids come upstairs with toys in their hands. And she goes "I found some toys in your back room! I just went through your boxes."
She was in our basement bedroom, which we use for storage, digging through boxes! Who does that!?! I would never go into someone else's house and just did through their storage space. To top it all of they never really keep an eye on their kids...the oldest kept chasing our (little) dog arround and he almost got bit...by the dog I think may never bite anyone ever, she may lick you to death though. My other cousin (the other one's sister) came prepared with toys and books...and a newborn, a cuddly little newborn that I cuddled for a good long time. I may have sniffed her little head way more than I should have...but I don't care she smelled like that new baby smell that is so fantastic ;)

I hope you all have a great holiday with family and friends! Our whirlwind of functions started tonight and doesn't end until Wednesday. I also have my last RE appointment on Thursday, I'm kinda sad to see that come, excited to move on like a "regular" person and see a normal OBGYN, but I'm sure gonna miss that group.

8week bumpdate

I had to darken the whiteboard so you could read it...and you still couldn't read it. I'm going to get chalkboard paint today so 9 and up will be much better!

also that is not a baby bump...it's fat.

How far along? 8 weeks 1 day

How big is baby?  A raspberry

Total weight gain/loss: still don't know, still have a broken scale.

Maternity clothes: Almost. I'm betting within the next week or so.

Have you started to show yet? No but sucking it in is getting so much harder!

Sleep: Still only getting up once to pee and my back has been better since I started taking a bath now and then...but last night was killer.( my baby brother was out on a delivery route in the snow storm...I barely slept I was so worried)
Best moment this week: Not much happened this week...

Miss Anything? Coffee…still missing coffee. Eggs too, they sound so good, but last time I ate them I got all upset.

Movement: Nope, baby is still too small.
Food cravings: Chocolate milkshakes...and I have yet to get one :(

Anything making you queasy or sick?  just about everything, at one minuet it will sound or smell good and then, bam, nope it's the most gross thing ever.

Gender prediction: I'm still on girl. Hubs keeps calling baby Megaman...
Labor Signs: Nope

Symptoms: Morning sickness comes and goes and hits either in the early morning or late evening and is just nausea, but sometimes I thinks that's worse!

Major purchases this week? Still nothing, but mom and I went out to look for jeans this week. I plan on ordering some with Christmas money!

Weekly wisdom: Do things in little spurts, then sit and rest. I tend to get more done if I do.

Looking forward to: My family Christmas Party is tomorrow...AT OUR HOUSE...I think I'm insane for agreeing to that one! you see my mom is one of 7 (13 if you count hubs and wives) I'm one of 26 grand-kids (including mates) and we have 9.5 (including peanut) great-grand-kids, and 90% of them will be at my house tomorrow...wish me luck!

It's snowing!

Sooo I was going to post my first bumpdate...but our power keeps going out and flickering and I don't want to risk my computer getting all screwed up...so it's iPad to the rescue.
Because its a fricken blizzard outside at the moment!
Really, go to weather {dot}com...you see the  blue mass moving through the Midwest?!?
Ya that's me :o/
So I guess you guys will have to wait till tomorrow to see what my face actually looks like.
Hope you guys are warm tonight! I'm bundled up with the dog and some cocoa.

The hair on my chinny chin chin....

Can we talk for a moment about the hairy side effects of IF???
ok good.

So I have always had one or two chin hairs...who doesn't. But you tweeze those bad boys and move on with your day.
Until the infertility treatments start, and you are jammin mass amounts of hormones in your gut and wow low and behold...MORE CHIN HAIR!!! I swear that crap grows feet during the night! I have to tweeze every morning now!
And not just chin hair my friend, you now have a mustache! and maybe your bikini line is now a bit further down your leg...
The other night while siting at dinner (IN PUBLIC) AJ...who sometimes doesn't think before he talks...typical man...points out that my "sideburns" are starting to get a bit out of control.  Thanks for that one babe!
Now I'm not some blond goddess, I have med/dark brown hair...so this annoying side effect is so much more annoying due to the fact that the minuet a hair shows it's self the world can see it! It also doesn't help that I'm a whiter than white Irish girl. Meaning that when I do shave my legs you can still see little black dots where the hair is still under the skin!!!
All this makes me miss my waxing days.  When my arms, legs, armpits and face were smoother than a babies bum. (have you ever had your arms waxed? it's magical!) And to top it all off I own a wax pot...but can't use it. My face is so sensitive that the heat causes massive breakouts. I'm talking those nasty cystic acne buggers that are under your skin. It hurts so bad for weeks...it's not worth it. 

Now that I'm pregnant I have to just deal with it, tweeze and move on.  Can't use bleach and can't wax.  I've seriously considered trying to make my own sugaring solution and trying that...but at the moment I do good to make toast without puking my sock up.

Ok I'm done now
rant over

7 Weeks

Week 7 came in with full force last night.
I was up at 3 to pee
back up at 3:30ish (tmi) because of the acid like diarrhea that was threatening to kill me.
and then back up at 4am to hug the toilet and dry heave until around 5am.

AJ slept through it all...jerk ;)

Anyways, here is the weekly update, next week I plan on adding a photo or two. I think I'm going to try the chalk board with regular cloths and then do one in a black shirt so that we can really see the progression.

How far along? 7 weeks

How big is baby?  A blueberry (how freekin cute is that!)

Total weight gain/loss: probably down, I haven’t been able to eat that much in the past week.

Maternity clothes: Not yet, but I put on a pair of my favorite jeans and they were so snug! I’m blaming bloat, but I’m still getting myself some maternity jeans with Christmas money…those things cost so much I’m gonna get every dollar out of them I can!

Have you started to show yet? Not yet, but I have noticed my lower abdomen is growing a bit more, don’t know if it’s bloat or baby.

Sleep: my back is hurting quite a bit and I have been up a ton to pee.
Best moment this week: Seeing peanut! and how excited everyone in the RE office was. My nurse came running out to hug me and see the sono pics and Dr. H kept saying “that’s not you!” every time the heartbeat came on.

Miss Anything? Coffee…I realllly want a good cup of coffee…and decaf is just not the same.

Movement: Nope, baby is still too small.
Food cravings: apple juice is still a big leader. Mashed potatoes and pork gravy.

Anything making you queasy or sick?  Any reheated meat, Hubs had leftover steak and I about upchucked.

Gender prediction: girl…all we can come up and agree on are girl names…if it’s a boy he will be nameless.
Labor Signs: Nope

Symptoms: Week 7 came in with full force last night! I dry heaved from 4-5am last night!!!

Major purchases this week? Still nothing. But I am going out today to look for something to maybe paint with chalk paint for my bump photos. Don’t know if it counts as major since I’ll probably get it at the thrift store!

Weekly wisdom: even though the fried egg sandwich that your grandma is making you sounds like heaven on a plate, don’t eat it…it will not agree with the baby or the steroid and Metformin you are taking and you will pay later.

Looking forward to:  spending some time alone at home, now that the semester is over I can finally get to cleaning and organizing some things around here! And I don’t want to wait till I’m too big to clean out peanut’s room!

and then there...

was one!

We have one healthy little peanut!
All my worries were for nothing, baby looks "perfect" as Dr. H. put it.
Peanut has a strong and perfect connection to my ute, a strong and healthy sounding heartbeat...that yes, made me cry, and the yolk sack looks nice and round...which again he called perfect.
And best of all???
We got the go ahead to finally "celebrate"...
AJ is beyond excited about that!

Later Alligators, I'm off to shoot and edit (hopefully) the last video of my school life.

Ultrasound Today!

How can someone be so freekin excited and so scared for the same thing?

As an IF-er we are so use to our body failing at what is meant to do, that when it finally does it...you doubt and fear it.

I'm so excited to finally see a baby...or possibly babies...in there, and yet at the same time I'm so scared that the dildo cam will show no heartbeat, or a very week heart beat. That this all will be taken away from me. That I will have failed yet again at the one thing I want to do most.

This is another time that I'm wishing for normalcy...to be a normal girl who worries about normal things and not one who has to deal with all these shots and fears and defeat.

I'll try to post from my iPhone on the way home, if it doesn't work you may not hear from me till later tonight. (thank God today is the last day of the semester...I don't think I can take much more!)

More spotting

So today kinda sucked.
I woke up early because we had plans to finish up our Christmas shopping, and like every morning I headed to the bathroom before I jump in the shower....
Today I had to postpone the shower to call the dr's office due to the bright red on the TP in my hand.
I just sat there for a few...I just looked at it, and my heart sank. I wiped and wiped again and each time there was more red.
I called the office, and at this point I'm almost in tears, my nurse was in with a patient and the front desk gal...who is the bomb dot com...told me she was going to grab her the min she was done to call me back.
I texted my mom...because sometimes the first person you want to hear from is your mom.
I then went down and plopped on the couch, told hubs what what was up and waited for a call back...he proceeded to google and tried to calm my nerves.
It only took my nurse about 10 min to call back.
She seems to think that my suppositories are to blame. She thinks that me cervix just got super annoyed or bumped by a who ha cone and since it's basically just a bunch of capillary endings it decided it has had enough and blood happened.
She told me to drink more fluids and call if it got any worse.

I took my shower, got ready and we went shopping.
We parked as close as we could, got what we needed and went to lunch ( I ate cheesey carbey goodness) and then I headed in for 4+hrs of video editing fun! And oh I'm still not done! Have I ever told you guys how much I HATE editing video? Well I do.

Anyways, the spotting turned brown and has been alternating all afternoon between light and medium brown. I did have one clot, but it was brown and about the size of a marble and I googled some more and found what I already guessed...panic if it's a red one but brown isn't something to fret about so I didn't bother to all the on call nurse...I'll just tell them the down low on Monday.
I think I'll be all worried until Monday, and they moved our appointment too! From 8am to 11...which is no big deal other than the fact that I'm stressed about not getting my video done or having enough time to edit it before I have to hand it in....whatever...I'm just being overly panicky about the stupid video...I'll stop talking about it now.

We did have a nice dinner tonight, it's my momma's birthday so we all (parents, brother, grandparents, hubs and I ) went out for our favorite Chinese dinner. It was yummy. Now I'm vegged on the couch watching Despicable Me.

Still spotting lite brown :( but trying to be optimistic.


(and side note...I'm posting from my iPad! Let's hope this lasts, because not being able to use the iPad to post to blogger sucks!)

stupid iPad, update and 6weeks

I totally posted yesterday from my iPad...because I was crazy busy yesterday and had NO time for myself! Who knows where that post went...

I'm doing great, no spotting, no cramps!
Although I think the morning sickness has kicked in today...woooo buddy!

I fixed myself one of my staple breakfasts this morning and I only made it about 2/3 of the way through it...and I still feel pukey. yippy skippy!
Looks like I'll be drinking peppermint tea for the day.

I have decided to wait until 8 or 10 weeks to start the belly shots, and I'm still trying to think of something creative to do. I'm not a drawer or even that good with my handwriting so the chalk board is out. I think I may go in search of some inspiration...don't worry I'll post them here! and you guys can tell me which ones you like best....help me decide!

Now the weekly survey:

How far along? 6 weeks

How big is baby?  A sweet pea and is about .25 inches and will double in size again next week!

Total weight gain/loss: one whole pound! According to my grandmother’s scale.

Maternity clothes: Not yet

Have you started to show yet? Not yet, but I’m chubby so It may take a while.

Sleep: OK, I have switched to my body pillow instead of a regular pillow for my legs, it seems to help but I’m still getting some bad back pain. I really want a maternity pillow ;)
Best moment this week: I told a co-worker/good friend on Friday, and she was so excited that I would have a baby bump for graduation in May…got me looking forward to that.

Miss Anything? We had friends over for dinner Saturday night and the hubs got some Tequila Rose…man I love that stuff, it’s like grown up strawberry milk. I really wanted a shot of that.

Movement: Nope, baby is still too small.
Food cravings: Root beer and apple juice, sweet potatoes and peanut butter.

Anything making you queasy or sick?  My grandpa heated up some leftover stuffing yesterday, I thought I was going to puke instantly.

Gender prediction: girl
Labor Signs: Nope, but there was a spotting and cramping scare on Tuesday, but all is good now.
Symptoms: So Tired! and a bit foggy brained. Today I’m super nauseated.

Major purchases this week? None so far, but my private baby Pinterest board is quickly filling with things to buy!

Weekly wisdom: If you feel like you need a nap…TAKE ONE! Don’t be a hero and push through, it’ll only be bad later. Just take the nap.

Looking forward to:  seeing our little peanut on Monday!

light spotting *updated

I woke up this morning at 5:30 to pee, and who really turns on the light at that ungodly hour, so I didn't check the tp when I wiped.
I went back to bed and noticed I had cramps, like period cramps...now I've been having the "your ute is growing" cramps, if you can even call them that, for a week or so now but this morning was definite pms like cramps.
Today is my day off so I let myself sleep in and when I got up at 9:30 I was spotting light brown and the cramps were still there.
I got up and let the dog out, called my mom and then called the office.
My nurse was with patients so I got put into her voice mail, and I still haven't heard back from her.

I know spotting is normal, and part of me wants to brush it off on the fact that I have to stick a suppository up my hoo haa every night and that my have annoyed my cervix, but it's hard to ignore the cramps.

I'm 99% positive she will tell me to just take it easy for the next few days, no need to go all the way in when I'll be there first thing Monday morning.
I'll feel so much better Monday morning when I get to see the little peanut...I still only think there is one in there...although I'd be thrilled to find two.

I'm off to lay on the couch and crochet...witch is kinda killing me because I have so much to do around this house!


*just like I expected, the nurse said to take it easy for the next few days, drink more fluids, and call her or the nurse on call if my spotting gets any red tints or my cramps get worse.
The spotting has gone in and out all day, but hasn't gone away and the cramps are steady but haven't gotten and worse.
I hope it's gone by tomorrow, I've GOT to shoot video for my final project and video an interview...I'm seriously contemplating a lower grade and not doing the video...but that's totally not me, so I'll end up doing it anyways!