tiny steps forward ( baby steps...if you will)

I called the doctors office yesterday and ended up making another appointment to sit down and talk with Dr. Girlfriend...I hadn't planned on that.
I just called to see about upping the dose of Femara, (which the nurse told me to go ahead and do, tomorrow I'll take 5mg instead of 2.5mg) and also to ask if there is anything else there is we can do to up our chances. Surprise surprise she said there wasn't. She said they usually do 2.5mg for a few months, 5mg for a few months and then 7.5mg for a few months...if that doesn't work a referral to a RE (reproductive endocrinologist) is the next step.
I got news for them, I'm not waiting another 6 months to wait for the referral.  4 more is my limit. I'll do 2 months of 5 and 2 of 7.5, and I will do no more.  That will put us at (almost) 2 years of TTC, and I'm sorry but I think that's a bit long to wait to see a specialist.
I threw a few more questions at the nurse...things about sonograms and lining and such...and apparently that was just too much for her. She felt that I needed an appointment to hash out my questions with Dr. Girlfriend.
That's fine with me...wait till she sees the list of questions to ask. (I'll give that list it's own post...warning: I have an OBSESSION with lists...)

I'm going to give the acupuncturist in town a call in a min. to see what she charges and if she works with ins. and if she needs a referral to be covered under ins....well I'm not looking forward to the call back to the dr's office for that...seeing as she laughed last time I asked about that.
My other(gay) husband called the other night to let me know he finally got his CD in the mail for fertility massage and I can't wait to try that out too.

I also jumped back on the Tea bandwagon. I'm hopping it will help with CM...considering that Femara has all but wiped out any form of fertile CM I had. Green Tea and Red Raspberry Leaf Tea everyday until I O, and I'm going to try realllllllly hard to remember my vit. every day too.

I'm also jumping back into working out. More for health than anything else, but it can't hurt.
I haven't stepped on a scale since January and then I was 203lbs. I dug my scale out last week, because everyone I knew told me (all in one day) that I looked like I had lost some...Holy Crap! 198lbs that's 5lbs lost!
Want to know how I did it???
I stopped drinking pop. I stopped drinking sweet tea. I cut down the amount of sugar I put in my coffee and tea.
No exercise, and I lost 5lbs! Just think of what it will be like when I do exercise!
I've decided to give my self small goals instead of one big number to try to get to.
For example: we are going to Lake of the Ozarks in late August, I want to drop 10lbs more by then. 10 more for AJ's birthday in late Sept. 15 more for mine in Nov. That all equals out to 35lbs by the time we go see a RE and puts me around 160.
I would love to get back to 120lbs, but I know that's a long battle. I think I would be fine around 140-150 if and when I finally get knocked up. I'm short, a whole whopping 5'2", so getting pregnant at 200lbs is bound to make one look like a weeble wobble.


and wow that was a long post! I should throw in a picture for those of you that made it to the end...

Do you know how hard it was NOT to koala-nap that little guy and bring him home with me?!?! 

I want one so bad!

should I stay or should I go...

I have been battling with myself the last few days. ok month.
This morning the battle heightened to the stage of making a decision, my temp dropped.( but stayed above my cover-line???)
I need to lose weight, bad. Sometimes I wonder if that is why I haven't gotten pregnant yet.

Should I keep going with the Femara and keep going the way we are now or do we take the summer "off" and I try to knock about 30lbs off and start again in August OR do I stay on Femara and we take it easy with TTC and I still try to lose weight. I've also thought about Weight Watchers, but I'm not sure that I would stick to it...I also don't have the money to do it at the moment.
The second option sounds ideal at the moment since we leave on Tuesday for a 10day vacation to Vegas and LA.
The Femara knocks me down for a week, and I really don't want to be a zombie in Vegas. Then the whole OPK battle and smexing for the next week or so would be so hard to do, we are staying with friends and who wants to really do the no pants dance in another person's bed? not this chick.

Either road we take I still plan on looking into acupuncture. I'm also reading a new book.

 

Here is it's Amazon page.

I've heard some good things, and glanced through it I plan on making it my entertainment on the planes. I hope it helps. If anyone has read it please let me know what you think.

I just don't know which path would be the best to take. It kills me to think of not trying, but I just can't take the extra 60lbs I have on me. 

Guhhh why does this have to be so hard?!?!?

It's most likely not me...and I tipped that scale.

I had my annual appointment yesterday, and got back my progesterone results. Seems all is good in that area too.  She said that with the good results my overies should be working just fine, and that if AJ get's a good report form the Uro/IF specialist than we will move on to the HSG. 
That wasn't the info that had me in tears all the way home though.

It seems that I have let myself get above 200lbs. Granted it's only 3lbs over (and I'm ok with you guys knowing my poundage seeing as you don't really know me) but it was my breaking point. I came home and looked up the carb amounts in almost everything. Starting next week (because I already have the grocery for this week) I will be eating way less carbs.
I'm also going to start using the elliptical that lives in my basement, I think 3 days a week is a good number to start off with. Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I don't have to be anywhere until 10 on those days...Tuesday and Thursday I have to be somewhere by 7:30 and who wants to get up at 5am just to work out. Plus I know me...I won't do it.
I'm setting myself a goal of 10lbs by the end of February, it's a healthy 2lbs a week and also not to outrageously high that I'll be let down.
I think it will be easier if I make small changes at first, bib-lettuce when I would use bread for sandwiches, eggs whites instead of oatmeal for breakfast and smoothies for the afternoon when I get the most hungry. Dinners are going to be the hardest, considering that AJ and I are verrrry picky eaters...and not about the same things.   Dinners kinda scare me...I know meat and potatoes. We have some form of that every night. Guess I'm going to spend the rest of this week looking up low carb dinners...when I'm not doing homework (which is what I have to do now).