Monday, May 9, 2011

I wasn't going to do this...

I was trying to not be the whiny person...
but yesterday was hard.

It was my first mother's day as an infertile. It hurt more than I would have thought it could.
It all started the night before. I was at a bachelorette party, and there was this chick there who was pregnant. She of course didn't go out to the bars with us, but later I found out her story.
She and her husband had problems getting pregnant so they decided to foster home with the hopes of adoption. Their hopes came true and they are now in the process of adopting the little one, but in the process they ended up pregnant. That's not the bad part...
I found out she is upset with being pregnant and doesn't even talk to her belly, they say the pregnancy is going to cost them too much money along with an adoption.
My heart hurt so much for that little baby. How awful is it to not talk to your unborn child...hell sometimes when I'm lonely I talk to my future children.

They yesterday came and I was feeling somewhat ok...until I get a text from a number I don't know wishing me a "Happy Mother's Day!!!"
I wanted to scream and punch and cry, but most of all I wanted it to be true.
I then spent the rest of the day fighting not to cry.

Today I'm 11DPO and I really want to pee on something, but I know I can't handle a -hpt today.

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