ya know just to nose around and be depressed about all the success stories.
And I happened to notice the IVF schedule.
Aug 13 Sept 10 Oct 8 Nov 5 Dec 3
Our first attempt was the Aug 13 group (they put us in a "group" so they are only crazy busy and only have to bring in the anesthesiologist one week out of the month)
With the medicine schedule being about a month or more it looks like I won't be in the Oct group...witch means I get to jab myself with a needle for my birthday! in Nov. Happy 31!
I'm choosing to look at this as a positive thing.
Because I need to be more positive.
I'm going to use this "time off" between IVFs as a make me better time.
I'm going to start yoga.
I'm going on a diet...not an insane one just an eat better one.
I'm going to drop 20lbs before another IVF.
I'm going to go to Church more (because I miss it)
I'm going to look into acupuncture (on my list of things to ask Dr H about on Monday)
I'm going to finally start my business (which means quit being a chicken and launch the website)
most of all
I need to start feeling less sad.
I know that's crazy to say, but I believe that God put me through this for a reason.
I need to use this loss/failed IVF as a way to grow.
Yes I'm sad, and I always will be, but maybe God wasn't ready for me to be pregnant yet.
Those embabies could have ended up with devastating illness, or I might have not been in the health to survive childbirth...
I know it sounds like I've gone coo coo
but it's the things like that going through my head that help me get through this.