Monday, June 25, 2012

the last line

We entered into new territory today. 
We are now in the IVF process.

I cried the entire 35min drive home.
Mostly because of the IVF, but also because my grandfather was put in the hospital night before last.

The thing grandfather is by far one of the most important people in my life. If he ever dies I will be inconsolable, and seeing him so helpless in a hospital bed then hearing that if IVF doesn't work our only other way to a child is adoption...
well I broke down.

Then I went and gave 6 tubes of blood.
My arm hurts.
So I ate a mug of rainbow sherbert.

Tomorrow I start on the BCP (birth control pill) and next week Thursday I have an appointment for a mock embryo transfer and a fluid ultrasound.

I have googled and googled and let me tell you...
I feel like I know nothing new.
And this is super hard for me, I'm always plan ahead gal. I make lists like no bodies business.
I'm the kind of person that needs a break down, and a map, and a calendar...with color coding and little sticky notes. Maybe some stickers...
you get the point

I feel so out of control. I can't control my body and I can't make my grandfather better.

on another note my Dr. said the word "mensies" today and it was all I could do not to burst out in a fit of giggles.

I hope everyone is having a better day than I am.


  1. Hey there - I'm new to your blog, but I wanted to wish you the best on going through IVF. You've been through so much already and I know it's not fun to pull out the big guns, but that's why they're there - and they just might work for you! My best wishes for your grandfather's health and your next cycle.

  2. Keeping you and your grandfather in my prayers. I know exactly how that is. My Poppy was one of the most important people in my life and even 2 years after his death I cry like the day.

    I am so excited you are starting the IVF process!
    Hearing the word mensies makes me giggle too!


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