aggressive

It's amazing what one little conversation with another infertile will do to you.
It has set my booty on fire.
It made me realize that Dr Girlfriend is nice, but in no way is she motivated to get me knocked up.
Her Dr. is upping her meds after just a month of trying, mine wants me to wait 6.  Now I'm not saying that meds should be upped after just one month...but waiting 6 is a really long time.

Tomorrow I'm going to talk to my Dr about being more aggressive in this TTC battle, and if she doesn't feel the same way I'm going to find another Dr.
I think I'm also going to call and talk to other OBGYNs in town as well as the acupuncturist in town and see how they handle infertility.

From now on I'm going to be aggressive. I turn 30 this year and damit I WILL be pregnant for my birthday.

I think I'm loosing it

Not in the brain category, or even the sanity...
Hope
It's sad I know, but for the life of me I can't care that we are TTC.
I can't explain it the right way, and that I think is what is bugging me the most.
It's not like I want to take a break TTC, and I guess saying that I can't care isn't true either.

It's like I'm numb.
I think that's why I haven't blogged in a while.
I almost don't want to talk about it, temp or even try anymore.
I don't think my heart can go through much more. I would almost rather take a while off, but AJ is so gung ho about all of it that it's so hard to even think about suggesting it to him.

I just don't know where I stand at the moment.

I guess I'm back in the game

Hello CD1
I'm kinda glad it's here, but man did it suck getting up early to temp again.
We are going to keep up with the Femara and opks, but I'm not going to lie...I'm not back in the TTC mood yet.

I'm planning on filling my summer with workouts, diet and organizing my much needed mess of a house.
My first task is out basement bedroom, or as I like to call it "Dungeon of Chaos" at the moment it's being used as a storage when I'm done it will be a beautiful office/craft room for me. I just need to decide what color to paint it.
I also have to figure out school, apparently because I went to school at the same school 10 years ago and I'm now going back to Financial Aid thinks I have used up too many credits. I can't even get a student loan.
So the decision on continuing or not has to be made soon.

I did find an acupuncturist in town, and I'm going to check if my insurance will cover visits.

It's looking like a busy summer on my end.

Wordless Wednesday: it's a sad happy day

Sucks when you are happy and sad at the same time...
Our friends had a baby this morning. The "only took us 3 months" friends.

I have been on vacation. In more ways than one.
I took the month off. It feels fantastic.
No temping at 6am every morning, no peeing in a cup and coffee every morning! and best of all no Femara.

I however had bronchitis. It was wonderful (please read with thick sarcasm). I managed to stop hacking the day before we left. Flying wile wheezing sucks...especially for someone who has anxiety and hates flying.

Anyway enough about me being sick.
AJ and I did EVERYTHING there was to do in Vegas and LA...we saw so much in CA that I needed a vacation from my vacation. Even though I was sick it was the best vacation.

Fun Fact...
The cave in the above photo is in Rancho Palos Verdes CA. It can also be seen in some of the movies you probably love. Have you seen Pirates of the Caribbean?  You know in the first one when the pirates sail into the cove to kidnap Elizabeth? Yep that cave above is part of that cove!