whaaaa?

I think the Follistim is eating away my brain!
I have checked weather(dot)com about 5 times in the last hour...and I couldn't tell you what the temp is going to be tomorrow if my life depended on it.
I'm also so worn out I could die...oh drama I know, but I'm sleepy. Spring break is over and I head back to classes tomorrow. I think I'll be taking the elevators.

CD3 IUI#1

Had a date with the wonderful dildo cam yesterday...I have to say that if I thought that thing was bad on a normal day having it jammed up the hooie on CD2 was pure joy! And to top it off how happy am I that CD2 happens to be the heaviest day of my cycle???
Want to know what made the day even better?!? (I know you are wondering) My MOM. Now I love my mom, and normally she is the best person to have a day with...but an hr in the car of her bitching about my brother, dad, grandma, and just about everything else makes me want to rip my ears off.
Ok I'm done with the rant.

My Folistim (and Ovidrel) are getting delivered sometime today, 50mg for the next 5days. I'm kinda totally freaking out about giving it to myself. In reality I'll have no problem whatsoever. AJ on the other hand has more than once stated that he, in no way, will be dealing with needles...thanks sweetie.
I go back to the RE next Tuesday for a follow up date with the dildo cam, he will tell me when to take the trigger and we will schedule the appointment for the IUI. I'm hopping and praying it ends up being the next Tuesday, it's CD15 and it just so happens to be the ONLY free day I have that week. There's a slight chance I could make Monday work, but Wednesday is impossible. Maybe I'm worrying for no reason...
I'm wondering if I can tell them I want to trigger on the 27...I guess we will see.

I have spent most of this morning goggle-ing success rates and side effects of the meds.

It's crazy...I'm excited and scared at the same time.

She's ALIVE!!!

August!
I can't believe that was the last time I posted...
well yes I can.
Lots of shit has happened since then.
1. we both turned the big 30
2. we decided to put our house on the market. (AJ got a big promotion!)
3. I had to get the house ready to sell while finishing out a semester full of classes.
4. put house on market....SOLD IT IN 5 DAYS...5!
5. SHIT NOW WE HAVE TO FIND A NEW HOUSE! NOW!
6. Thanksgiving....Christmas....smooch and snuggle niece and nephew.
7. PACK HOUSE FULL OF SHIT. (again all me, with AJ working and the semester over it all fell to me)
8. Move house full of shit...in the snow...because we are cursed...it snows/rains EVERY time we move.
9. start new semester.

oh and try to get knocked up during all that was key....heh

here's the ttc breakdown
love love love my RE, he rocks my socks.
I'm in month 2 of Metformin....suck. I can't drink unless I want to have the runs....and I have those anyways it's just worse when I drink or eat...well anything really.
RE is much smarter than Dr. (not my)Girlfriend. He actually takes the right tests! Finding out that AJ's swimmers are swimming but they don't go anywhere and he tested me to the extreme and found my C-Peptide low...so Metformin. 
Now he want's to do a IUI next month (since I'm already on CD3). I'm kinda frightened about that one. I dug out all my books and I have been google's best friend today. I even bit the bullet and checked out the boards on The Bump...didn't post just lurked around.

If anyone has helpful info on IUI I would be ever so grateful!

Wordless Wednesday: it must be CD1

and it's only Tuesday...

Sometimes you get a break in the game called Hell Life.

Last weekend and Monday were a bummer to say the least.

1. Friends get-together (and I use the word friends lightly) that is packed full of little kids...who's parents don't watch them...at a lake...which leads to me being depressed and having mild panic attacks at the same time. 
2. Follow that by a family get together where AJ's cousin is about to pop...oh did I mention she cries every day because she is having a boy not a girl...FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST BE HAPPY YOU CAN HAVE A BABY YOU STUPID B*!CH. (I feel a bit better now). 
3. Add to all this the fact that my science class on Monday was filled with discussion about evolution...he just kept talking about survival of the fittest..."those that can reproduce will be the most successful and continue on". I almost started crying in class. 

Then Monday night AJ calls and says we are going to dinner. OK no biggie, he does that sometimes. The kicker was he told me we were going to the nicest place in town...we're talking big bucks...
AJ got promoted, and with that came a LARGE raise.
Large...Huge...Ginormous even (please channel your inner pink lion...and exit stage left).

We get to move into a bigger house...a better area.
It doesn't matter if I get a "real job"...I can work for me, do what I want to do, work from home.
and best of all, we can afford all the shit crap that comes with infertility.

There's more.
I know right? how can there be more?

I just found out tonight that instead of the 4 semesters I thought I was going to have to take to finish school (did you get that? confusing enough for you?) well I only have 2 more...5classes to take after this semester. Holy Crap I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Even better, my school changed the way things are done and I now get to take Photography2 and Graphic design or Computer Animation...I can't decide which other one to take.


and it's only Tuesday.
Which has me frightened for the rest of the week.

Wordless Wednesday

That's where I've been for a while...pretend land. If you didn't know pretend land borders the land of breakdown. I can feel myself walking on the border and I'm about to go over.

two weeks is a long time

But I don't need to tell you guys that...we are all masters of the 2ww.
This is a different two weeks though. These last two weeks I have been sitting here stubbornly patiently waiting for the Dr.s office to call back and let me in on the progesterone test I took on 7-27.
I have high hopes (please read with heavy sarcasm) that they will still call to fill me in on their own, but lets get real here...I'm the one that is going to have to call.
I'm sorry but this is bull shit.

On another note, I got my craft room together in the past few weeks! It's not decorated yet, but it's totally functional. So I'm at least occupied while I'm waiting for the stupid office to let me know what the heck is going on with my body.