hello again

I really thought I'd be back here on different terms...but I'm not.
At this moment in time it looks as though our little dude will be an only child...unless the grace of God decides to knock me up on it's own.
I was sort of slapped with this info at dinner tonight.
IN.PUBLIC.WHERE.I.CAN'T.CRY
As if he was telling me that he had pie for lunch, the hubs says "work stopped covering infertility insurance, they said they only get maybe 7 people a year using it so they decided to stop."
and I about burst into tears, because I know my husband...there is no way he will pay for any treatments out of pocket.
I just looked at him and calmly said "well I guess he'll be an only child." and I didn't say much the rest of the night...

Now I know that I have no right to complain, I have a beautiful and healthy little guy. I just feel like I'm being robbed of the one thing I'm meant to do, have babies! I want my son to have a brother or sister, I want him to know that bond because I cherish it so much myself. and if I'm aloud to be selfish, I wanted to be pregnant again...so so very bad.

In 4 months I planned on coming back here to begin again. To start the struggle all over again with pills and shots and blood work and hope. Instead I'm here now crying over the loss of the chance to struggle again.

moving on up

Hi chicks!

I have moved on over.

http://mrskatyem.blogspot.com

I'd love to see everyone over there too.

I'm planning on following everyone with that blog too, and I don't plan to post here again...

but I will leave this blog here just in case anyone wonders by and needs or wants the info on here.

And we've gone public!

So tomorrow my grandma turna 81...or 34 as she would say ;). So this morning my mom came over and after we got ready (she drops my dad off early at work and on Thursdays we take our time getting ready and then go have brunch) we headed over to the flower shop and explained to the gal that we wanted to get my Gram flowers for her b-day but also announce that I'm pregnant. She suggested a small thing of a few baby pink and blue carnations, which we thought was fantastic. I picked out a card that was for baby flowers and wrote a little note. We then headed straight over to my grandparents. I walked in and handed my Gram the flowers and plucked the card out to have my Grandpa read...since Gram can't see well enough to read.
It was so cute, he could barely read it out loud (and he already knew! but she didn't know he knew) and it took a second for her to get it...she goes "oh...Oh! Are you pregnant!?!" And she's crying, which she doesn't do, and I'm crying and mom's crying and Grandpa's crying and we are all hugging.
After the hug&cry fest I updated Facebook, and I haven't been able to put my phone down yet! The comments just keep coming.
Telling my Gram was awesome, but my cousin called my grandparents house (from Arizona) and I picked up...she goes "gram...aunt???..." And isaid no it's Katy. And then she yells in the most excited voice "just saw your Facebook"!  It was too cute.
I have to say today was fantastic, I was not expecting such a reaction from my Gram. It was more than I could have asked for.

a reallllllly late 13week update...sorry

Oh you guys this week has gotten the best of me! I keep thinking "oh I'll do the bump shot tomorrow"...ya that never happened. And now it's 13weeks 5days and let's face it's too late now...and all I have is chub anyways. It's ok really I think when I put these into book form for the peanut I think I'm going to do every other week until I have a real bump anyways ;)

so here's my questionnaire, and I promise I'll be better from now on.

How far along? 

 13 weeks 5 day

How big is baby?  

A peach...which is just adorable

Total weight gain/loss: 

again I have no clue...but I don't feel like I have gained any.

Maternity clothes: 

pants...I tried jeans with the beband and my hips weren't havin it!

Have you started to show yet? 

just chub, but I can no longer suck in the chub.

Sleep: 

the last few nights have been great, not even a potty break! it's been fantastic.

Best moment this week:  

buying baby it's first stuffy(stuffed animal) and eating all the food that Chicago had to offer!

Miss Anything? 

my energy, I really want that back! there is so much to do (home and school) and I have no energy to do any of it.  

Movement: 

none yet

Food cravings: 

dried fruit, which is awesome since it's healthy and I have a dehydrator!

Anything making you queasy or sick?  

 Meat is still on my yuck list...but baby did demand Taco Bell yesterday...it was quite yummy, but it made my tummy hurt later in the day.
 
Labor Signs: 

Nope

Symptoms:  

super dry skin and lips that are cracking and peeling bad, still getting doozie headaches and I'm tired. NO NAUSEA this week!!!

Major purchases this week? 

 nothing this week, but Amanda at Our Grisworld just posted about the swing we want and it's on sale! may have to order it tonight! we also got peanut a cute Roo stuffed animal from the Disney store.

Weekly wisdom: 

jam pack your purse with snacks, this has saved me during class when I really needed a granola bar or fruit.

Looking forward to: 

Telling the world, on Thursday, we are having a baby! I plan to put it on facebook and then running to my grandparents house to tell my grandma before anyone can call her.
also looking forward to the energy that people say comes with the second trimester...



I also plan on moving over to my regular blog once I'm "out", it has been empty for a while (since I've been over here and anonymous) and no one knows I have had this blog, but I would love it if you guys came over there with me.  I'll post a link as soon as I make the switch.

12 week bumpdate

 

How far along? 

 12 weeks 1 day

 

How big is baby?  

A plum, about 2.1 inches long and .49 ounces!

 

Total weight gain/loss: 

 I don't think there was any change this week, I haven't weighed myself.

 

Maternity clothes: 

I've been in yoga pants all week, but I did put on jeans for classes and you bet they were maternity!

 

Have you started to show yet? 

still no, but I have noticed that the more I bend over the more things get shoved up, so I'm betting it won't be long till I am showing. 

 

Sleep: 

sleep has gotten worse, I have been up many times a night to pee and I can not get comfortable so I toss and turn all night. 

Best moment this week:  

seeing my friends at school

Miss Anything? 

caffeine...classes are so much harder with out it! 

 

Movement: 

nope

Food cravings: 

 I just HAD to have biscuits and gravy the other night.

Anything making you queasy or sick?  

 Meat. Don't even talk about it let alone show me any...I think this baby is making me into a vegetarian. Fine with me.

Labor Signs: 

Nope

 

Symptoms:  

Still get nausea when I wake up, HEARTBURN, headaches, sore back and dry skin.

 

Major purchases this week? 

 I got THE cutest skirt from Old Navy! I'm super excited about it and it fits perfect (which is shocking for a shorty like me). I also got AJ his Valentines day present! Pop Corn maker!

 

Weekly wisdom: 

just get the wheeled bag for classes, who cares if you look dumb.

Looking forward to: 

AJ and I are heading to Chicago in the morning for a little get away just the two of us! Disney store and deep dish here I come!

11 week bumpdate

yes I am in the same color shirt as the chalk...totally unplanned.
do you like the pony tail and no makeup...I was totally too lazy to fix that.

How far along? 11 weeks 1 day

How big is baby?  A lime

Total weight gain/loss: The office scale still said 200.

Maternity clothes: Pants...I attempted to wear my regular pants with the belly band today...super tight in the hips.

Have you started to show yet? still no, but I'm fat...

Sleep: still not so good, I have a hard time falling asleep, and then back asleep after my midnight bathroom run.
Best moment this week: my surprise visit from friends last night and seeing peanut today!

Miss Anything? energy, I seem to crash quickly.

Movement: nothing that I can feel, but there sure was a ton of wiggle during the sonogram today.
Food cravings: somehow today I can't get enough to eat! I hope it sticks around. I have been wanting pears in the evening so I picked some up yesterday.

Anything making you queasy or sick? I still don't want anything to do with meat.
Labor Signs: Nope

Symptoms: Nausea when I wake up and in the late evening, HEARTBURN, headaches and dry skin.

Major purchases this week? I'm getting ready to order some shirts so I have something to wear to class and work.

Weekly wisdom:when your food aversion goes away, the store is probably not a good idea...you will spend way too much money.

Looking forward to:Going back to class and work, I know I'm odd. And getting all the tests done (Tuesday because the lab guy was out today) so we can finally tell the world that I'm pregnant!

Good friends

So yesterday AJ calls me mid day, which is odd, and tells me I need to be home after 3:30 on Thursday (today). When I asked why he simply said that his dad was going to come over and put up the flag pole that he gave us for Christmas. Ok no biggie.
Yet when the door bell rang it wasn't my father-in-law.
It was three of my friends from school! hiding behind my door...with gifts!!!

They emailed AJ and worked it all out so they could come over and cheer me up, since I haven't been feeling well and we haven't been able to get together as a 4 over the holidays.

The bags were full of gifts for me and for peanut! Our first baby gifts!
For me was a super cute and comfy set of pajamas and fuzzy purple slippers and a big box of Cheerios...since it's all I can seem to eat these days.
And for peanut was the cutest gray stuffed owl, a book, a onside with a font shaped like monsters saying feed me and also a cute box with hearts on it and Johnson's and Johnson's bedtime bath and lotion in it....but my friend informed me that the bedtime bath and lotion was actually for me! And let me tell you, best bubble bath ever. It smells so good and leaves you so soft!

They hung out of a bit and we chatted, which actually resulted in us getting louder and louder....which is what always happens.

It was so nice and such a surprise. I've never been so greatful for good girl friends.

10 week bumpdate

  Holy fizzy hair Batman!

It's super gloomy and crappy out here all the time so I had to use the evil flash, gotta love the yellow cast it gives my face!

Also it's not easy to write on a chalkboard, especially when you suck at drawing and your handwriting is not the perdiest.

 

 

 

How far along? 10 weeks 1 day

How big is baby?  A kumquat...or prune, but how much more fun is it to say kumquat!

Total weight gain/loss: The office scale said 200, so I must have lost a few thanks to my cold and loss of appetite.

Maternity clothes: Pants...I also got a band from Target which is nice with my favorite jeans.

Have you started to show yet? still no, but I'm convinced that if I were skinny I would be showing.

Sleep:Not so good, the last few days I can't seem to get comfy or fall asleep. I ended up on the couch after two hrs of fighting trying to fall asleep last night and even then I tossed and turned a ton.
Best moment this week: Not much of anything happened this week...I've been a slug.

Miss Anything? food...I miss food. I really want a real meal, but everything makes me so sick!

Movement: Nope, baby is still too small.
Food cravings: Nothing sounds good, I so miss food.

Anything making you queasy or sick? everything! I'm also dealing with a new type of morning sickness this week...the "I just got off a boat" feeling. IT SUCKS.
Labor Signs: Nope

Symptoms: Morning sickness, headaches and really really dry skin and lips.

Major purchases this week? I payed my tuition for this semester yesterday...does that count...it was a lot.

Weekly wisdom: if you are tired of being at home and just want to go somewhere, the grocery store is probably not the best idea...you will buy food you want, but it will be food that will make you sick...so you will be sad you get sick when you eat it anyways.

Looking forward to: cleaning out the babies room! and maybe hearing the heartbeat at my next appointment (next Friday), today was too soon...she tried forever but got nothing. She was so upset, it was almost as if she wanted to hear it as much as I did.

So it's a new year...

2013
I plan on making it so much better than 2012.

Last year was a rough one, but also a good one.
It had it's ups and downs...like everything I guess.

Year in review:
     I watched my grandfather go through 2 surgeries to remove cancer, and then watched as he almost died as a result of infection from the surgeries.
     We went through 2 failed IUI's and one failed IVF.
     Went to Mexico.
     Failed one math class, but passed 5 other classes with all A's.
     Struggled with our marriage, and my husbands drinking.
     Learned to give myself shots...and keep an organized schedule (which I'm so not good at).
     Finally Pregnant! thanks to IVF #2.
     Ended the year in our p-jammers, bed at 12:01.


I'm not gonna lie, this year was hard on me.
I learned what it was to come so close to a baby and have it taken away. I thank God everyday that I don't know the loss of miscarriage, but reading other's stories and watching my sister in law go through it breaks my heart.
Life is unfair sometimes, but then again life can be good to.
I just pray that this baby sticks.
And not just my baby, I pray that every baby sticks.

I haven't thought of any resolutions for the year yet, but I'm thinking something along the lines of
1. have baby
2. organize my house
3. try something new each month
   I think I can handle these...and if I only do 1 and 2 I'm fine with that!


Happy New Year Loves!

Fighting to make myself eat

For the last few days I have wanted nothing to do with food.
Which is a problem...for more reasons than the obvious.
The most obvious is that peanut needs me to eat, but I have to take my meds with food. The Metformin and the Dexamethazone both are to be taken with food, and lets face it prenatals do not give pleasant results on an empty stomach.
So I've been forcing down a bowl of cereal ( a small one ) before I take my pills and making myself eat little bits here and there throughout the day...but I know it is FAR from what I should be eating.

I did however dodge the stomach bug! My niece, nephew, brother-in-law and father-in-law did not. My poor little niece was up in the middle of the night pukeing and my nephew decided that while we were over for dinner was a great time to up chuck twice...my brother-in-law and father-in-law got hit with it yesterday. Sis, bro and the kids had to drive back home (8hrs) with the boys sick...somehow they made it with out anyone getting sick!
I also missed the sinus infection I though I was getting!
I thank Vicks and a hot compress to the face for my sinus cavities draining before infection set in! It's all in my chest and I'm caughing, but it's not bad. I still feel rather crapy, which isn't helping in the I need to eat department.

I suspect that I've lost a few pounds over the last week...I put on my favorite jeans (the ones that for the last few weeks have only fit with the aid of a very stretchy rubber band) and I about lost them while grocery shopping today! I'm sure I looked rather classy tugging at my jeans while in a old hoodie and a messy pony!

I saw on Pinterest some sort of slushie made with bananas, strawberries and a 7up, so I thought I'd give it a try. I didn't have any strawberries so I used raspberries and the three bananas that were on their last day. All I have to say is I haven't wanted to puke it back up yet! and it's actually pretty good.

Hubs and I are planning a nice quiet evening in tomorrow, I think maybe pizza, movie and popcorn.
Hope your New Years is nice, safe and with loved ones!

9weeks1day

  I don't have much to say today, I'm feeling rather poopy thanks to this sinus crap that is trying it's hardest to turn into a sinus infection.

The Dr. told me I could ween off the steroid yesterday! and that I can stop the progesterone shots and suppositories as soon as I hit week 10...which ironically I have just the perfect amount of suppositories to make it till then. Weird.

 

No picture this week. Sorry. I'm totally not getting in front of a camera feeling like this...nothing looks different from last week anyways. 

 

How far along? 9 weeks 1 day

How big is baby?  A Green Olive..yum!

Total weight gain/loss: My grandparents scale states 202, which is 2lbs above IVF weight, but I'm thinking that most of that is Christmas food since I have been eating so much less due to morning sickness and this sinus cold.

Maternity clothes: I can still wear my shirts but my jeans are strictly on a rubber band only status...I ordered new maternity jeans last night. (I'm not showing yet, I'm just so bloated I can't fit in anything but yoga pants)

Have you started to show yet? No but I'm so bloated.

Sleep: good, I can make it till about 5am without peeing now! and I'm sleeping sound with only a few strange dreams.
Best moment this week: telling the in-laws on Christmas morning, and finding out my Sister in-law is due 2weeks before me!

Miss Anything? Coffee…still missing coffee but once I hit the 3 month mark I'm sooooo having a cup a day! And lunch meat/meat and cheese trays were hard to avoid this Christmas.

Movement: Nope, baby is still too small, but there was some wiggling yesterday in the sonogram!
Food cravings: bland food like toast and Cheerios...but I'm getting sick (sinus crap) so nothing tastes good at the moment either.

Anything making you queasy or sick?  ummm so my nephew took a bite of food at the end of dinner Wednesday night and gagged and puked it all back up...the sister in-law and I were sitting at the other end of the table...we both gagged and she had to run for some hard candy.

Gender prediction: I'm still on girl. Hubs is still on boy.
Labor Signs: Nope, but I have been getting the round ligament pains...which are a pain.

Symptoms: Morning sickness comes and goes and hits either in the early morning or late evening and is just nausea, my boobs are sore all the time now, headaches and ligament pains.

Major purchases this week? about $60 worth of cloths from Old Navy! Thank you gift cards! And I'm heading out to check the second hand stores now.

Weekly wisdom: take it easy on the Christmas cookies...

Looking forward to:my niece's birthday party on Saturday and getting rid of this sinus cold before it turns into a sinus infection! 

Bittersweet day

Today was my fair well appointment with the RE office. My mom went with me since AJ couldn't go...he did however ask that I record the sono...I think he was sad he couldn't go.
I'm so happy that everything is good and I get move on to the OBGYN, but man am I going to miss that office.
I made them a tray of snacks and got a thank you card. It was perfect, it said "I'm so greatful, for people like you" and it's so true.
The tech (the one who is always in durring my appointments) got choked up before the ultrasound even started...before I even took my pants off! And Dr. H gave me the biggest hug and of course I got all weepy...he did a bit too.

Mom and I then decided to check out some sales, since we don't have a Berlington in town we went there and then had lunch.
I had waffles...because I'm pregnant and I can.
Then we headed home and to Old Navy so I could spend my gift certificates and get some maternity jeans...I'm so bloated that none of my jeans fit anymore!
They didn't have any in my size so I ended up getting 3 new shirts, 2 maternity and one regular...but it's super cute and stretchy and only $5 so win win!

S my mom called me a few min ago and asked me to email her the video so my dad could see it, I had to send it in two parts but she emailed it it my brother and my aunt and uncle too.
My brother just texted me and said he's in love with our little peanut...and my Dr's voice. (If I get the video uploaded on here you will totally get it...his voice is awesome!)

But the best is that my mom texted and said that my uncle got teary eyed while they were watching the video. And now I'm crying again!
(A little back info- my mom was a single parent until she met my step-dad when I was 8. My aunt (her sister) and uncle are like second parents to me, I'm very very close to them. So it's like they are getting a new grandchild too.)

I also finally got chalkboard paint and chalk! It should all be ready for week 10. I'm skipping the week 9 photo...8 was so depressingly crappy, and I'm getting sick ...so no photo this week.

Twice as nice Christmas

We began our morning with my family and a yumtastic breakfast followed by presents!
We then headed over to AJ's parents to open gifts with his sister and the kids (her hubs and the in-laws too).
We planned to give them the baby announcement gift at the end of all the gifts...
But his sister gave his parents a bag of a bunch of gifts and one was a pack of pictures...which included sonogram pics of baby number 3! She informed us she was due mid July and that she was 10.5 weeks...
The whole time I'm sitting there trying to not jump up yelling "me too me too!"
Instead I just grabbed the wrapped frame (one that says cousins on the top and I put a little paper in the frame stating that the photo was to be taken in August when their cousin gets here) handed it to his sister and I just said "we have one more for Ethan and Ava but it's glass so you have to open it"

She just kept yelling "are you serious, no way!"
Then the two if us hugged and cried like two pregnant chicks should.
His parents got so excited, then they realized that next Christmas there will be 4 grand kids instead of 2! I think they were even more excited after that.

So all in all it went way better than I could have imagined.

Well I survived

The family cleared out about an hour and a half ago...and I'm sooo glad it's over! The poor dog is traumatized. I'm sure I would be all fetal and crying if it weren't for my mother...the woman cleaned my entire kitchen. I'm pretty sure if everyone left and my kitchen still needed cleaning I would have just stood there and cried.
I missed my afternoon nap today, because I was making food for the party, and I'm surprised I'm not passed out at the moment!

So I have to tell you what my cousin did...because I really want to be all bitchy and put it on the Facebook...but I don't want to be the drama starter. So she brings her 4 kids and doesn't bring any toys or anything for them to play with...to a persons house that doesn't have kids...so we don't have kids toys...it's not rocket science. All the sudden the kids come upstairs with toys in their hands. And she goes "I found some toys in your back room! I just went through your boxes."
She was in our basement bedroom, which we use for storage, digging through boxes! Who does that!?! I would never go into someone else's house and just did through their storage space. To top it all of they never really keep an eye on their kids...the oldest kept chasing our (little) dog arround and he almost got bit...by the dog I think may never bite anyone ever, she may lick you to death though. My other cousin (the other one's sister) came prepared with toys and books...and a newborn, a cuddly little newborn that I cuddled for a good long time. I may have sniffed her little head way more than I should have...but I don't care she smelled like that new baby smell that is so fantastic ;)

I hope you all have a great holiday with family and friends! Our whirlwind of functions started tonight and doesn't end until Wednesday. I also have my last RE appointment on Thursday, I'm kinda sad to see that come, excited to move on like a "regular" person and see a normal OBGYN, but I'm sure gonna miss that group.

8week bumpdate

I had to darken the whiteboard so you could read it...and you still couldn't read it. I'm going to get chalkboard paint today so 9 and up will be much better!

also that is not a baby bump...it's fat.

How far along? 8 weeks 1 day

How big is baby?  A raspberry

Total weight gain/loss: still don't know, still have a broken scale.

Maternity clothes: Almost. I'm betting within the next week or so.

Have you started to show yet? No but sucking it in is getting so much harder!

Sleep: Still only getting up once to pee and my back has been better since I started taking a bath now and then...but last night was killer.( my baby brother was out on a delivery route in the snow storm...I barely slept I was so worried)
Best moment this week: Not much happened this week...

Miss Anything? Coffee…still missing coffee. Eggs too, they sound so good, but last time I ate them I got all upset.

Movement: Nope, baby is still too small.
Food cravings: Chocolate milkshakes...and I have yet to get one :(

Anything making you queasy or sick?  just about everything, at one minuet it will sound or smell good and then, bam, nope it's the most gross thing ever.

Gender prediction: I'm still on girl. Hubs keeps calling baby Megaman...
Labor Signs: Nope

Symptoms: Morning sickness comes and goes and hits either in the early morning or late evening and is just nausea, but sometimes I thinks that's worse!

Major purchases this week? Still nothing, but mom and I went out to look for jeans this week. I plan on ordering some with Christmas money!

Weekly wisdom: Do things in little spurts, then sit and rest. I tend to get more done if I do.

Looking forward to: My family Christmas Party is tomorrow...AT OUR HOUSE...I think I'm insane for agreeing to that one! you see my mom is one of 7 (13 if you count hubs and wives) I'm one of 26 grand-kids (including mates) and we have 9.5 (including peanut) great-grand-kids, and 90% of them will be at my house tomorrow...wish me luck!

It's snowing!

Sooo I was going to post my first bumpdate...but our power keeps going out and flickering and I don't want to risk my computer getting all screwed up...so it's iPad to the rescue.
Because its a fricken blizzard outside at the moment!
Really, go to weather {dot}com...you see the  blue mass moving through the Midwest?!?
Ya that's me :o/
So I guess you guys will have to wait till tomorrow to see what my face actually looks like.
Hope you guys are warm tonight! I'm bundled up with the dog and some cocoa.

The hair on my chinny chin chin....

Can we talk for a moment about the hairy side effects of IF???
ok good.

So I have always had one or two chin hairs...who doesn't. But you tweeze those bad boys and move on with your day.
Until the infertility treatments start, and you are jammin mass amounts of hormones in your gut and wow low and behold...MORE CHIN HAIR!!! I swear that crap grows feet during the night! I have to tweeze every morning now!
And not just chin hair my friend, you now have a mustache! and maybe your bikini line is now a bit further down your leg...
The other night while siting at dinner (IN PUBLIC) AJ...who sometimes doesn't think before he talks...typical man...points out that my "sideburns" are starting to get a bit out of control.  Thanks for that one babe!
Now I'm not some blond goddess, I have med/dark brown hair...so this annoying side effect is so much more annoying due to the fact that the minuet a hair shows it's self the world can see it! It also doesn't help that I'm a whiter than white Irish girl. Meaning that when I do shave my legs you can still see little black dots where the hair is still under the skin!!!
All this makes me miss my waxing days.  When my arms, legs, armpits and face were smoother than a babies bum. (have you ever had your arms waxed? it's magical!) And to top it all off I own a wax pot...but can't use it. My face is so sensitive that the heat causes massive breakouts. I'm talking those nasty cystic acne buggers that are under your skin. It hurts so bad for weeks...it's not worth it. 

Now that I'm pregnant I have to just deal with it, tweeze and move on.  Can't use bleach and can't wax.  I've seriously considered trying to make my own sugaring solution and trying that...but at the moment I do good to make toast without puking my sock up.

Ok I'm done now
rant over

7 Weeks

Week 7 came in with full force last night.
I was up at 3 to pee
back up at 3:30ish (tmi) because of the acid like diarrhea that was threatening to kill me.
and then back up at 4am to hug the toilet and dry heave until around 5am.

AJ slept through it all...jerk ;)

Anyways, here is the weekly update, next week I plan on adding a photo or two. I think I'm going to try the chalk board with regular cloths and then do one in a black shirt so that we can really see the progression.

How far along? 7 weeks

How big is baby?  A blueberry (how freekin cute is that!)

Total weight gain/loss: probably down, I haven’t been able to eat that much in the past week.

Maternity clothes: Not yet, but I put on a pair of my favorite jeans and they were so snug! I’m blaming bloat, but I’m still getting myself some maternity jeans with Christmas money…those things cost so much I’m gonna get every dollar out of them I can!

Have you started to show yet? Not yet, but I have noticed my lower abdomen is growing a bit more, don’t know if it’s bloat or baby.

Sleep: my back is hurting quite a bit and I have been up a ton to pee.
Best moment this week: Seeing peanut! and how excited everyone in the RE office was. My nurse came running out to hug me and see the sono pics and Dr. H kept saying “that’s not you!” every time the heartbeat came on.

Miss Anything? Coffee…I realllly want a good cup of coffee…and decaf is just not the same.

Movement: Nope, baby is still too small.
Food cravings: apple juice is still a big leader. Mashed potatoes and pork gravy.

Anything making you queasy or sick?  Any reheated meat, Hubs had leftover steak and I about upchucked.

Gender prediction: girl…all we can come up and agree on are girl names…if it’s a boy he will be nameless.
Labor Signs: Nope

Symptoms: Week 7 came in with full force last night! I dry heaved from 4-5am last night!!!

Major purchases this week? Still nothing. But I am going out today to look for something to maybe paint with chalk paint for my bump photos. Don’t know if it counts as major since I’ll probably get it at the thrift store!

Weekly wisdom: even though the fried egg sandwich that your grandma is making you sounds like heaven on a plate, don’t eat it…it will not agree with the baby or the steroid and Metformin you are taking and you will pay later.

Looking forward to:  spending some time alone at home, now that the semester is over I can finally get to cleaning and organizing some things around here! And I don’t want to wait till I’m too big to clean out peanut’s room!

and then there...

was one!

We have one healthy little peanut!
All my worries were for nothing, baby looks "perfect" as Dr. H. put it.
Peanut has a strong and perfect connection to my ute, a strong and healthy sounding heartbeat...that yes, made me cry, and the yolk sack looks nice and round...which again he called perfect.
And best of all???
We got the go ahead to finally "celebrate"...
AJ is beyond excited about that!

Later Alligators, I'm off to shoot and edit (hopefully) the last video of my school life.

Ultrasound Today!

How can someone be so freekin excited and so scared for the same thing?

As an IF-er we are so use to our body failing at what is meant to do, that when it finally does it...you doubt and fear it.

I'm so excited to finally see a baby...or possibly babies...in there, and yet at the same time I'm so scared that the dildo cam will show no heartbeat, or a very week heart beat. That this all will be taken away from me. That I will have failed yet again at the one thing I want to do most.

This is another time that I'm wishing for normalcy...to be a normal girl who worries about normal things and not one who has to deal with all these shots and fears and defeat.

I'll try to post from my iPhone on the way home, if it doesn't work you may not hear from me till later tonight. (thank God today is the last day of the semester...I don't think I can take much more!)